Tulungan ang Sarili Upang Malutas ang Pagsusubok na Hinaharap

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Challenges faced by the Caregiver
By Regina Diaz Goon
Psychologist,
OFWParaSaPamilya, PsychConsult Inc.

Ang mga OFW ay tinuturing “Bagong Bayani” ng kanilang kapwa Pilipino. Madalas pagusapan ang mga hinaharap ng OFW kapag nakaalis na ito sa Pilipinas. Pinaguusapan rin ang mga karanasan at pagsusubok na nararanasan ng isang OFW. Marami sa kanila ay sumasali sa pre-departure orientation ng mga organization katulaad ng OWWA. Nguni’t madalang pag-usapan ang pinagiiwanan ng OFW na mag alaga ng pamilya, yung tinuturing na “caregiver”. Dito sa article na ito pag-uusapan natin ang ilan sa mga pagsusubok na hinaharap ng isang asawang “caregiver”.

For every OFW that leaves the Philippines to work overseas, there is a family member who has to take responsibility for the family left behind. In most cases, it is the caregiver, who is left to cope with the challenges of everyday life, in the OFW’s absence. Just as the OFWs, no matter how widely scattered share common experiences, the caregivers left behind in the Philippines share common challenges. The most difficult of these challenges are: added roles and responsibilities and feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Unang una, nadaragdagan ang mga tungkulin ng mga kasapi ng pamilya. Pag nawala ang haligi (ama) ng tahanan ang ina ang sumasakop ng tungkulin na ito. Pag nawala ang ina ng tahanan, ang ama ang sumasakop ng tungkulin nito. Kasama nitong karagdagang tungkulin ay ang mga responsibilidad na sakop nito. These responsibilities include taking care of the family’s physical, educational, medical and other everyday needs. Needs like preparing meals, making sure children get to school, attending school functions etc. Kasali rin dito ang pag-aaruga, ang pagdidisiplina, ang pagpapayo, ang pakikinig at iba pa.

For many caregivers, adjustment to added responsibilities, takes time, however, the caregiver will eventually gain the confidence in his/her ability to manage. Some suggestions to ease the stress on the caregiver are:

• Continue to share family responsibilities with your OFW partner, by making use of technology like the internet and the cell phone to set up weekly chats were everything is discussed, decisions made, advice solicited.

• Pagusapan ang lahat ng kailangang gawin sa bahay at bigyan ang bawa’t isang miyembro ng tahanan ang kanilang kailangang gawin sa araw araw.

• You and your partner should identify a person or persons, (who have agreed to assist) that you can go to for any emergencies while he/she is away.

• Help children adjust to the absence of the OFW by creating a sense of stability and security by maintaining family routines and everyday schedules.

The second, more difficult challenge faced by the caregiver left behind is a sense of isolation, of being alone even if surrounded by extended family members. This is accompanied by feelings of loneliness. Itong pagkalumbay na nararanasan na ito ay sanhi ng pagkawala ng kinasanayang kabiyak sa buhay, yung pwedeng makausap, mahingian ng payo, at makaintindi ng takot o nerbiyos na nararamdaman. Sanhi rin ng pagkalumbay na ito ang pagkawala ng karamdamang pagkalapit sa isa’t isa, kasama na rito ang relasyon physical.

Ang pagkalumbay na mararamdaman ng caregiver na naiwan sa Pilipinas ay normal at pwede ring malutas ng panahon. Nguni’t kailangan ding alagaan ang sarili upang hindi mahulog sa labis na pagkalungkot. Here are some suggestions that may help you:

• Make arrangements to speak with your OFW on a regular basis. You can have scheduled family conversations where all members of the family can participate.

• You should also arrange to speak with your partner on a one-one basis, where other more personal issues can be discussed, kasama na rito ang pag-kakarinyo o pag bigay boses sa mga naiipon na hangarin.

• Ipatuloy ang mga family outing, katulad ng pag punta sa park o sa mall. Kumuha ng letrato nitong mga outing na ito. Ikwento ang lahat nang pangyayari sa OFW.

• Magpadala ng letrato ng mga ginagawa ng pamilya at sabihin din sa OFW na magpadala ng letrato ng mga “happening” na pinupuntahan niya, at mga magagandang tanawin na nakikita niya.

• Bigyan rin ng panahon ang sarili. Lumabas ng paminsan minsan na kasama ang mga kaibigan.

• Reach out to other husbands/wives of OFWs who are in the same position as you. This type of social networking will help you share not only experiences but also methods of coping. OWWA has support groups in different regions and areas of the Philippines. OWWA requires the husband/wife to go personally to their offices, where they can get the location of the nearest support group in their area.
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Hindi ka nagiisa... One. Filipino. Never Alone.

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